repeated contradictions

my day again was very disturbed.
oh well, was it something which i brought upon myself?

deep down in me, i really sincerely hoped that we could be friends again.
perhaps it is something which i can only hope for and not see it coming true.

it does feel miserable, in fact quite bothersome.
sometimes, i cannot help but to ponder about this issue.
I beleive, to a certain extent, we are both still affected by each other's movements, and happenings around us.

I'm curious, this, i have no way of denying. i'm extremely curious to know what you're thinking, what is your present opinion of me?
it is very much human nature to be inquisitive about the views others have upon me, myself.
thus, i really would want to know what am i portrayed as to you?

i try to surpress this curiosity, but i guess i am not that good at it.
i'm sure i gave myself away many times. see, its the uncontrollable emotions fooling in me, causing all these comotions and mini tidbits in my life.

MSN-its the routine. a scary routine.
I know i'm just wasting my time by being a real big fool to constantly view the msn page.

i do not know how to erase this stupidity. you are a irritant indeed.
i named you well.

blame it on my sentimental-me?
i shall grow, grow out of all these. yes, i must do it.

cheers sam!